"My parents feared a broken-engagement would make me undesirable for marriage and would bring dishonor to the family"

From 25 November (the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women) to 10 December (Human Rights Day), the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence Campaign is a time to galvanize action to end violence against women and girls around the world. This year’s theme is to “End Gender-Based Violence in the World of Work”. These 16 days we will be sharing the stories of our very own ‘Siyani Sahelian’ (Wise Friends) who have faced violence and freed themselves through education. There are many more like them but they are faceless; these have come to the forefront due to their deeds and images.

I was a regular school-going girl growing up, wearing my hair in neat pigtails that my sister would make every morning. Little did I know that this was all about to change. When I was 13, my parents forcefully got me engaged to my cousin. I was strongly opposed to the idea of early marriages, but I was the youngest in the house and had little say in the matter. I continued to rebel and try to break the engagement. My in-laws-to-be were not pleased with my rebellious behavior and blamed my schooling for making me ‘disobedient’ and ‘batameez’. They told my parents that I would have to quit attending school if they wanted to make me presentable for marriage.

I continued my rebellion, but soon had to drop-out from school because my parents feared a broken-engagement would make me undesirable for marriage and would bring dishonor to the family. I succumbed to the pressure but I did not allow them to force me into marriage. I could barely look after myself, let alone a husband and in-laws.

Earlier this year, I was approached by the Siyani Sahelian team from ITA. They had heard my story from my neighbours and came to ask me if I was still interested in education. The answer was an enthusiastic yes, but I knew my family would never allow it after how I broke off my engagement. The team spoke to my parents and explained that education does not lead to ill mannered children but actually empowers children to protect themselves, like how I protected myself against child marriage. After much convincing and perseverence, my parents were on board. I am thrilled to continue my education!

*Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the mentioned persons.

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the views of Idara-e-Taleem-o-Aagahi (ITA)